I don’t hate him the way he hates me
(That moment when you realize Steve is fully aware of Cecil’s feelings towards him and yet doesn’t hold it against him, ugh Steve why did I ever hate you)
[whispers] i miss harry potter
[murmurs] i miSS HARRY POTTER
[exclaims] i misS HARRY POTTER
[yells] I MISS HARRY POTTER
[sCREAMS FROM THE ROOFTOPS WITH A MEGAPHONE] I MISS HARRY POTTER
Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.
Do you ever just sit and stare at your bookshelf and take out your favorite books and feel the covers and slide them back on the shelf or is that just me
people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted
After high school you realize you were only friends with some people because you saw them five times a week.
Fun things to say when someone tells you they’re going to go to the bathroom:
- Stay safe
- That’s what they all say
- Different strokes for different folks
- I hope you have the time of your life
- But you have so much to live for
- Please explain
- Don’t fall in
- I’ll alert the media
- Mention my name and you’ll get a good seat
can we just like fast forward through the entire month of september i want it to be october already
I’ll wake you up when September ends.
FUCK THIS JOKE I’VE BEEN HEARD IT EVERY SINGLE SEPTEMBER FUCK GREEN DAY FOR MAKING THE SONG